Journals and Memories
by smileynerd256
Summary: Sophie finds one of Ford's journals in her backpack. (This is a companion piece to my larger fic, "Guns, Blades, and a Dash of Science," and part of what I call the Space Buddies AU. Chapters 1 and 2 are set after Sophie leaves Dimension 52, Chapter 3 will be set after the epilogue in GBDS.) Reviews are always appreciated! :)
1. Chapter 1

Sophie stared at the journal in her hands, running her fingers over the worn leather cover. Ford had stowed it in her pack along with a few other belongings, thinking that they would enter the Nightmare Realm together. Sophie glanced down at her metal leg; fate had had other plans.

She opened it to the first page and began to read Ford's loopy handwriting:

 _It has been well over twenty years since I first stumbled into the Nightmare Realm. At least, it seems that way. Earth time is difficult to measure after traveling through so many dimensions and walking on so many different worlds. The best I can do is guess._

 _I have begun to forget many details about my life before this mess began; my youth and young adulthood on Earth now seem like nothing more than a distant dream. I doubt anyone would ever read an account of my exploits, but I can record them for my own sake._

 _My previous journal was lost some time ago, and I have missed it. Recording my thoughts helps to clear my mind and keep at bay the loneliness that sometimes threatens to overwhelm me. What keeps me going is my resolve to destroy B, a being whose name I won't mention in case this book falls into the wrong hands._

 _I miss Earth; it has been years since I've seen a parallel Earth dimension, or another human being. Many inhabitants of the worlds that I have visited are friendly, and it's fascinating to see their culture and how it differs from other worlds…but sometimes I crave the sight of a blue sky, green grass, and orange sunset._

Sophie lowered the book and gazed up at the unfamiliar stars, barely visible next to the three moons lighting up the sky. "You and me both, pal," she muttered, "except for the orange part." She flipped to the last few pages. They were covered in blueprints of the quantum destabilizer, with notes on disassembly and finding a suitable power source written along the margins. Her mind turned to a different time, before the shipwreck and Dimension 52…

 _Sophie and Ford barely escaped the 15-foot-tall bounty hunter with multiple limbs covered in spikes. Ford took a bad hit just as they jumped through a portal; Sophie made sure that the area was secure and did her best to fix him up. They sat under a darkening lavender sky by a small fire, with Ford propped against a rock._

 _He turned to Sophie with half-lidded eyes, his forehead beaded with sweat. "Sophie, if I don't make it-"_

 _Sophie felt a jolt of panic. "No, stop right there. You are going to make it."_

 _"But if I don't-"_

 _Sophie grabbed Ford's hand and squeezed. "You're going to make it, Stanford."_

 _"Please…just let me finish."_

 _Sophie huffed. "Fine."_

 _"The quantum destabilizer-"_

 _"Death ray."_

 _Ford swallowed. "It needs a power source that's small but potent, stable but powerful. There are instructions in the back of my journal on how to disassemble the plating. Bill's greatest weakness is his eye; hit him there and he'll be obliterated."_

 _"Okay, but telling me this useless because you're going to make it out of here and shoot that darned triangle yourself."_

 _Ford leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "Sophie, please…promise me that you'll remember this."_

 _Sophie clenched her jaw and tightened her grip on Ford's hand. "Fine, I promise. But I also promised myself that I wouldn't let you die, and that's the one I'm keeping."_

 _And that's the one I kept._ Sophie smiled. Against the odds, Ford had survived…and she had survived. And against the odds, she was going to find Ford, no matter how long it took.

Actions


	2. Chapter 2

_"Sophie, it's me! I'm the real Ford, he's the shapeshifter!"_

 _"No, I'm the real Ford! The day we met, you tried to turn me in for bounty!"_

 _"Don't listen to him, Sophie! You once had a friend named Kira who saved your life!"_

 _Sophie glanced between the two Fords-the real Ford and the imposter-and threw her knife in the blink of an eye, sinking the blade into the shapeshifter's chest. Except...the shapeshifter didn't shift. It still had Ford's face, full of pain and betrayal. Sophie's stomach lurched as "Ford" morphed into the white, slimy creature with a hideous grin. Ford fell to the ground, Sophie's knife buried in his chest. Sophie wanted to scream._

 _She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. She could only watch._

 _The shapeshifter's eyes turned yellow as it emitted a horribly familiar high-pitched cackle, growing in size until it towered over Sophie in a vast shadow. "YOU KILLED THE WRONG ONE!"_

* * *

Sophie jerked awake, chest heaving in ragged gasps as tears streamed down her cheeks, and frantically took in her surroundings. Nothing but cold and emptiness. No warm, reassuring hand on her shoulder, no voice telling her that it was just a dream, that she needed to breathe and that everything would be alright. She grasped her metal leg and squeezed the cold, unyielding material, trying to remind herself that Ford was okay, that she had lost her leg to save him...but it wasn't enough.

She thrust a shaking hand into her pack until her fingers found worn leather. She pulled out Ford's journal and hugged it to her chest, breathing in the scent of aged parchment mingled with the faint smell of smoke from the fire that had gone out hours ago. She clicked on a small, blue light and opened the journal to the first page.

 _Recording my thoughts helps to clear my mind and keep at bay the loneliness that sometimes threatens to overwhelm me..._

She flipped to another page. _Tonight, I woke from a disturbing dream. Either B has an influence in this dimension or my own mind is conjuring these nightmares; sometimes it is difficult to tell..._

Sophie flipped to the point where Ford's writing ended and dug in her pack until she found a pen. She paused an inch away from making a mark on the page. Would Ford be okay with this? Part of her wondered if this was admitting that she would never find him again...she fiercely shoved that thought away. She gazed out at the surrounding darkness, then back at the journal. Writing as if Ford would read it could work... _What the heck, this just might save my sanity._

She took a deep breath and put pen to paper. Her handwriting wasn't anything to be proud of, but at least it was legible.

 _Hey, Ford. I don't know when you'll see this, but I hope it's soon. It's just...you left your journal behind, and for now it's the only physical thing that I have to remember you by. You know how lonely it gets, hopping dimensions, and I thought that if I wrote in this, it would help. The thing is...I miss you. Like, really, really, miss you. I've been looking for you for awhile now...I think it's been about six months? Jheselbraum told me that you were in your home dimension. I hope that there's something of home left for you there...  
_

She wrote about the nightmare, her fears, a few things that Jheselbraum had told her, what the past few dimensions had been like. Slowly, her tension and anxiety bled out as she poured her thoughts onto the pages. The sun rose, she broke camp and continued her journey.

Sophie wrote in Ford's journal every chance she got after that, writing each entry as if it was a letter to Ford. The pages never seemed to run out; she wondered if the book was bigger on the inside. Overtime, her handwriting improved. At one point she tried to sketch a large, gentle creature with shaggy blue fur and spindly legs. It looked like her little brother's scribbles when he was three. She just stuck to writing after that.


	3. Chapter 3

After Sophie got to Ford's dimension, she forgot about the journal until a few days later when she woke in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. The details of the dream escaped her, but the fear remained. Ford was sleeping soundly and Stan was sawing logs; Sophie didn't want to disturb either of them. She dug out the journal- _Ford's_ journal-and headed to the deck with a blanket around her shoulders.

The moonlit waves lapped against the boat and helped to calm her pounding heart. She sat on the deck against the rail and propped the journal up on her knees, but hesitated before her pen touched the page. _I should probably give this back to Ford..._ But even with Ford there, the thought of not having a place to release her pent-up emotions increased her anxiety. _Maybe I'll just...keep it. He hasn't even asked about it; he probably forgot._ Sophie thought back to some of the entries that Ford had written and felt guilty for even thinking of keeping it to herself. The journal had been just as much of a help to him as it had been to her, and it was his to begin with. She wrote a few paragraphs and shut the book. It still had plenty of pages.

Sophie leaned her head back and gazed at the stars, too alert to go back to sleep. Some of the constellations that her own dimension had weren't there, but she was glad to at least see a few that she recognized. She stiffened and tucked the book under her blanket as she heard Ford's booted footsteps in the cabin.

He emerged from the door and paused, then wordlessly joined her on the deck. "Can't sleep?"

"Yeah. You, too?"

Ford leaned against the rail. "Yeah."

Sophie shifted her grip in the journal, trying to form the right words. "The uh, stars are nice tonight."

Ford took a deep lungful of fresh air. "Yes, they are."

"Yeah, heh. A few constellations are different, but it's still nice."

Ford looked at her curiously. "Your dimension had different constellations?"

"Yeah, there was the Pomegranate of Persephone, the Chariot of Hades, and the Pillars of Olympus, just to name a few."

"Fascinating. Any others that you remember?"

Sophie noticed Ford's hand twitching for something to write with and sighed. "Not right now."

Ford's face fell. "Sorry, I didn't mean to remind you of your home dimension."

Sophie shrugged. "It's okay, really."

Ford hummed and turned his gaze back to the stars. "I've missed this."

Sophie smiled softly. "Me, too. I met a few other versions of you from different universes, but...it just wasn't the same."

"Really? What were they like?"

"Pretty much like you; nerdy, stubborn, prone to danger, but with a heart of gold under that layer of crusty old man."

"Heh. I wonder what it would have been like to meet the other me in that parallel world."

"You would both pull out your journals and spend the next week asking each other a billion questions while scribbling down notes."

Ford glanced at Sophie. "That's...probably what would happen, actually."

"What can I say, I know you well." Sophie rubbed her thumb along the journal's spine. "Uh, speaking of journals..."

"Yes?"

"Well...you left yours in my backpack, and I might have, uh, written some stuff in it. Actually, I wrote a lot of stuff in it." Sophie revealed the book and held it out to Ford. "Sorry."

Ford took the book in surprise. "You kept my journal?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, it was all I had left of you. It's just...writing in it felt like I could still connect with you somehow, like I wasn't completely alone out there. I'm sorry if that-"

"Sophie." Ford put a hand on her shoulder. "I understand; it's okay."

"Really?"

Ford smiled. "Really. If anything, I'm glad that it helped you; dimension hopping isn't easy on your own."

"So...you're not mad at me?"

"Of course not! In fact, Dipper did the same thing when he found a journal of mine in Gravity Falls."

Sophie raised an eyebrow. "How many journals do you have?"

"Several." Ford opened the journal in his hand to the first page. "I'm glad that you still had this one. It will be interesting to look back on my account of the different worlds I visited in my last few years of dimension hopping."

Sophie reached for it before she realized what she was doing. "I, um...can I still write in it?"

Ford gave her a questioning look.

"It's just that...sometimes I have nightmares and I can't go back to sleep, and it helps. Writing helps, I mean."

Ford's gaze softened and he handed the journal back to Sophie. "Tell you what, next time we make port we'll get you your own journal. You can keep this until then."

Sophie clutched the journal. "Really? You won't want to look through it or anything?"

"Really."

Sophie threw her arms around Ford. "Thanks, smart guy."

"Heh, any time, kiddo."

* * *

Hope you enjoyed that. I thought it was a nice way to wrap up Ford's and Sophie's adventures. Reviews are always appreciated! :)


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